Day by day

At the end of last year I started praying about what 2012 would hold. About where God would lead me. To my astonishment and later dread, he told me I would be taking it a day at a time.
When speaking to friends it seemed evident that I should be journaling more this year too.

For those of you that don't know me very well, I plan everything! From the people I feel God asking me to pray for to the major achievements I want to make in a year. In fact last year (2011) was my year of planning, everything was planned out at the start of the year, right down to what I would do each day of the year. I had taken planning to a whole new level but I loved it!  

On the other hand, it's clear that God didn't love all my planning as much as I did. It's clear now that with all my planning going on there was no room for God to unfold his plans in areas where I already had my planning done.

So far living without a plan has been hard! 

Remembering to pray every morning that it's His day to do with what He likes is a challenge. But more than that it's trusting him on a day to day level for all the small little things. 

Trusting in Him when I meet up with friends that we'll have a great time and have heaps to talk about, instead of already knowing things we could talk about before hand. Because there are few people that I just 'click' with, and even fewer that I can happily sit with and not speak to I learnt a long time ago to have an idea of what to talk to a friend about. 

Trusting in Him to have a plan for my weekends instead of planning what to do with friends and family weeks in advance.   

Yup. God is stirring me up! His probably even lovingly laughing at me as I stumble around completely out of my comfort zone and relying on him. You can't tell me God doesn't have a sense of humour, I know he does. At the end of this year I'm sure I'll be laughing at me too!

Welcome!

Welcome to 2012!

Quick prayer
Lord this new years is yours; your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Amen.

Leaving home

This year I have wanted to move out of my parents house.
I lived out of home for about five years and then moved back when I went overseas on a short term missions trip to Cambodia in 2007.

I was certain I'd move out as soon as I got back from Cambodia. But I didn't.

Instead of moving out of my parents house I saved a tone of cash! And subsequently been on a stack of overseas holidays, doing things I'd always wanted to do.

• I went to Japan twice to snowboard for five weeks each
• I went to New Zealand twice for more snowboarding, though the second time as hard as we chased the snow we just couldn't catch any decent snow to board on, we did have a fun time trying non the less.
• I went The Sultanate of Oman, Dubai (in the United Arab Emirates) and The Sultanate of Bruni - just got back from this trip.
• I started a music distribution business called You Love Random.
• And moved from full time work to part time work so I can spend more time developing You Love Random.
• And lastly I started a publishing business this year called Ashworth Publishing. 

All things that if I was still renting at the time I wouldn't have been able to do. So I don't regret moving back.

So why do I want to move out of home again? Well, this last year, especially as I'm looking my 30th birthday in the eye at just four month away, I can't help but want my own place again. As friends are getting married, having kids, buying dinning tables, and all those other 'grown up' things, I'm not.
I'm at my parents house. They already have a dinning table, couches, rugs and paintings. I can decorate my room how I want it (to a certain extent) but no further.
While friends are enjoying cooking up a storm, I find myself in a storm if I want to cook because it's my dad's kitchen and only he can use it. It's wanting to do these little domestic things that makes me want to move out of my parents again.

I've prayed about it, looked into working out what's on the market and prayed some more. I've stamped my foot and made the decision - I'm moving out! I even told my Mum that I would move out by the end of the year.

Turns out that working three days a week doesn't provide enough cash to be able to live by myself.
I also discovered that to rent a one bedroom unit is now at least three times(!) more expensive than it was four years ago. The encouragement of friends opened the idea of sharing with other people. And again I went back to God. This time asking for housemates as well as somewhere else to live.

No one was interested in moving. I'm not partial to the idea of living with people I don't already know or that friends haven't recommended either. The idea of coming home from work to find a housemate completed of their head and eating my food is not something I long for in life!
I continued to speak to friends and would jump when people mention they might, maybe, possibly, maybe, might be, are kinda thinking about moving.
But in the end, nothing.

Finally a wonderful lady at my church decided that she wanted to move and was looking for housemates (pick me! pick me!) and was looking to move into the area I was hoping to live.
We chatted exchanged email addresses. I was excited! And nervous about packing up all my stuff. And excited! And nervous about how much of my pay-check it was going to take. And excited!

While on holidays these last three weeks I got an email from her. A sad email. The email explained that the christian bookshop were she worked was closing down. Her friend worked at the same place so moving in together wasn't going to happen, in fact she might be moving back to the country. Horrible news! My poor friend, God was closing a lot of door for her and this news right before Christmas wasn't particularly heart warming for her.

Ultimately, it is all in the Lord's hands and He has a wonderful plan for her.

It also means that I am not leaving home. God is keeping that door closed at this time.
At the right time, the door will open and I'll leave home but until then I'll do what I've been doing all this time. Save, and do the things I wouldn't otherwise be able to do. I will continue to wait for Jesus to open that door. And continue to be as patient as I can possibly be! It's not easy as I'm not that most patent person (I'm sure God is looking at me thinking 'stop tapping your foot, I'm not ready for you to move yet!').

No 20 - Freedom to dream

Looking out the window of the plane as I fly into Bruni I had a couple of thoughts.

Who do you call if you want to build an airport? Are there forms and paperwork that need to be completed first? Do you need permission from someone/some global authority?

I should find out.

Because, you know, one day I might want to have my own country like the Sultan of Bruni. I could. And I'll want people to visit. Hence, an airport. It's really quite logical.

But as I sit here in the airport listening to other travelers conversations I can't help but be grateful. At 29 and 7 months old I still dream like I child. But more than that I'm grateful that I was always encouraged and given the freedom to dream.

If you've got children don't squash their dreams let them dream anything is possible!

And, who knows, with a little hard work and determination they could make that dream a reality.
I could even have my own country one day.... but who do I call about building an airport?! A state of the art, fancy airport that people are happy to be in?