People are just that, people.

On my phone

Relationships are hard; any kind of relationship is difficult.

There are ups and downs. 

Good times and not so good times. And navigating the terrain of relationships - whether professional or personal - can be emotionally draining at times.

Doesn't matter what the status or title people are just people; they can hurt, anger and sadden us without even knowing! 

Recently this happened to me both personally and professionally. Things were said and actions (or lack of them) made me feel like an outsider, like the relationship we shared wasn't of value. I was made to feel like I held no position of influence and my contribution was of no worth.  

Being hurt, angered and/or saddened is not pleasant, in turn it can begin to create new feelings of resentment and bitterness or worse. It's easy to see how if you store up all these feelings it would start to create a rift among friends. To pull people apart.  

This is where things where starting to head for me and I didn't like it. 

I don't like being anger with friends or feeling like they don't care about me (when I knew in my head that they did). But saying something is hard (yep, this is the hard part in relationships). Having the courage to put up your hand and say 'you may not realise this but your actions/words have hurt me'.  

Perhaps you've heard about letting go of old hurts but forgiving friends before they have apologised can seem like an impossibility. Yet God wants to know all our stresses, He wants us to give them all to Him. My friends had hurt me and I was really stressed, so I did just that. 

I prayed. I told God how they made me feel, told Him I was choosing to forgive them and to help heal my heart. And like always - He listened, He answered.

Without anger or bitterness I then put up my hand and told my friends - I'd been hurt. How they had made me feel and that I was speaking to them so that we could all make a conscious effort to avoid the same thing happening in the future. 

I was proud of myself for saying something. I'm not very good at talking about my feelings; I'm not the most eloquent person which makes me nervous and tongue-tied but I wrote down what I wanted to say on a bit of paper and I spoke out. 

If you feel hurt, say something. Your friend might be feeling hurt too. 

Seek God's timing about when to say something, be gentle and speak without accusation but do say something. It will help to strengthen your relationship.

Integrity - what's up with that?

"People of integrity expect to be believed. They also know that time will prove them right and are willing to wait." - Ann Landers

Integrity is one of those qualities that erodes little by little, and often without us even knowing - along with patience and determination. Yet, we should all be trying to increase and build these up.

Integrity is one of those hard qualities that is difficult to explain, and even harder to measure. But it is clear to others if someone has it or not - according to  my Mum. My older sister says integrity is what you do when no-one else is around.
The dictionary definition says it's so much more than that. It's about honesty. It's about strong moral principals.

Our integrity is seen by others only as we respond to planned and unplanned incidents. In times when crisis hits that's when you see the true integrity of a person; by what they say and, more importantly, what they do.

To build up our integrity... perhaps with quote from John Milton will help us all.

"He who reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king."

To be ruled by our passions, desires, and fears is a lack of reflection or a 'lifestyle of denial', it's not a cure for the heart; ignoring these things actually compounds them.
The feedback of loved ones, and Holy Spirit's prompting, will lift us to life affirming values; where we can rule our passions, desires, and fears - they don't rule us! Each day as we stand up to ourselves and our selfish ways and fears with the Holy Spirit's help we are slowly building up our morals and increasing hopefully becoming more honest. It's not a quick process to integrity but it's a journey that over time, we will be able to step back and say 'Yes, I am living a life of integrity'.

Consider this; are you living a life of integrity?

A deep sense of loneliness

There are times when a deep sense of loneliness engulfs every inch of me and I can't escape it; like a solid and lasting punch to the heart.

It isn't brought on by seeing lovers kissing, or even by the memory of falling asleep in the strong yet soft and gentle embrace of a man. No, it isn't brought on by anything like this.
The loneliness just comes from nowhere, punches me in the heart and leaves me to deal with that solid and lasting pain that then consumes me. It's as though this punch leaves a hollowness in my heart and soul that I am unable to fill.

Last year it was more than I could handle. But I couldn't bring myself to say anything to anyone. Thinking that Jesus is meant to be my comforter and councillor, I foolishly kept telling myself that should be able to pray about this and the Holy Spirit would help me out - I shouldn't have to talk to anyone about this! I knew that in order to remove the power that a situation or the power that struggles held over me (or you), I needed to speak about them. By speaking about it I would be shedding light on that situation or struggle and removing the power it held over me.
But with this deep sense of loneliness, no.
I didn't want to speak to anyone, I didn't want to ask for help, asking for help is considered a sign of weakness (popular culture tells me that so it must be true) and I'm not weak....
But I was wrong; oh so very very wrong. It was weak to not ask for help.

Friends, didn't know I was struggling and I certainly wasn't about to tell them I constantly felt deeply and desperately lonely - that I was fighting these feelings even when I was with trusted friends and family. No, I wasn't about to talk to them.

It was the Christian prayer counsellor I was seeing at the time that I eventually told. It took a couple of months. Yet there in that private room under the cover of a signed confidentiality agreement (which seems SO important when you don't want to talk about your feelings) I took a big breath, lifted my head to heaven to avoid crying as I spoke and told someone. For the first time I said "I'm lonely. I can't escape this deep painful loneliness in my heart and soul. It really hurts!"

SO glad I said something! Once I stopped crying (yes, even lifting my head so the tears wouldn't roll down my cheeks they inevitably did) we prayed.
That's a lie - I didn't pray; my prayer counsellor prayed for me and I agreed with her prayer. She prayed against spirit of loneliness, and that the Lord Jesus would fill my heart with His unconditional love as only He can, and take away this the deep loneliness, to fill me with His joy and love.

It wasn't until I lay in bed that night that I even noticed that for the first time, in I've no idea how long, I didn't feel lonely. My heart wasn't screaming for love. I felt FULL of Jesus' love! That love that only He can give! Through the Holy Spirit I knew and now really felt loved! Loved beyond words and beyond understanding - I am LOVED!

Looking back, the hardest part was telling someone about it. I couldn't break free on my own, I'd tried for months to do it by myself and I couldn't, I needed to ask someone else to pray me through it.

I can't encourage you enough - if this article has spoken into your heart PLEASE go and see a counsellor or ask a trusted wise friend to help you and prayer with you. You only need to ask! 

It's Easy in Percentages

Budgets are a common way to work out how much money you want to save but have you ever considered using percentages instead?

Let me explain.

I first started thinking about money in terms of percentages as I started paying more attention to the power tithing. Sure it's a concept that appears really early in the Bible, Leviticus 27:30 to be exact (thanks for the help on that one google). When we hit the book of Numbers chapter 18, the Bible starts to talk about percentages and tithing by a percentage, a tenth (10%) to be made as an offering to the Lord. 

A tenth is easy enough to work out - God being God, it's also ingenious! A tenth means that it doesn't matter how much we make we can always give ten percent. 

• When you're a kid and your pocket money is $1.00 - 10% is 10c
• As a student you earn $140.00 a week at your part time job - 10% is $14.00
• And so it goes on... no matter how high or low the numbers go.

When we're calculating how much money to offer to the Lord working out 10% seems easy. Even our government calculates our taxes on percentages. Yet, using a saving plan based on percentages baffles many people. Hopefully this will help explain it to you. 

Amiriche's Percentage Savings Plan

Your income either per week, fortnight, month is our starting point - 100%.

Your bills and everyday expenditure you want to convert into a percentage of your income. If it is an annual bill and your 100% is based on your monthly income then divide the bill by 12 and convert to a percentage - easy.
For example I spend per month 11.9% on transportation; car, petrol, public transport costs.
Once you have converted your bills into manageable percentages, simple deduct your percentage expenses from your income 100%. The figure you are left with is the percentage you have available to save.

What percentage of that 100% do you have left for saving? 0.2%, 12%, 34%?

Increasing your saving is always a good idea - you never know when you'll want to start a business or buy a car, lust after an uber expensive pair of shoes or cope of speeding fine! 

Whatever the percentage is that your saving start thinking about all your expenses as a percentage of your income (your 100%). It doesn't take long to which the way you look at your money. 

As you start to think about your money in terms of a percentage of your income you'll start to you want to increase the percentage your saving. And you'll find ways!

Today I bought a new winter jacket (it's really nice) which cost me just under 10% of my fortnightly salary but to me, I think it'll be worth the 10%. My phone bill, on the other hand costs me at just over 5% of my fortnightly salary... yeh I'm already looking for a cheaper phone plan.

Start thinking differently about your money. 

It'll pay off.