30 April, 2012

People are just that, people.

On my phone
Relationships are hard; any kind of relationship is difficult.
There are ups and downs. 
Good times and not so good times. And navigating the terrain of relationships - whether professional or personal - can be emotionally draining at times.

Doesn't matter what the status or title people are just people; they can hurt, anger and sadden us without even knowing! 

Recently this happened to me both personally and professionally. Things were said and actions (or lack of them) made me feel like an outsider, like the relationship we shared wasn't of value. I was made to feel like I held no position of influence and my contribution was of no worth.  

Being hurt, angered and/or saddened is not pleasant, in turn it can begin to create new feelings of resentment and bitterness or worse. It's easy to see how if you store up all these feelings it would start to create a rift among friends. To pull people apart.  
This is where things where starting to head for me and I didn't like it. 

I don't like being anger with friends or feeling like they don't care about me (when I knew in my head that they did). But saying something is hard (yep, this is the hard part in relationships). Having the courage to put up your hand and say 'you may not realise this but your actions/words have hurt me'.  

Perhaps you've heard about letting go of old hurts but forgiving friends before they have apologised can seem like an impossibility. Yet God wants to know all our stresses, He wants us to give them all to Him. My friends had hurt me and I was really stressed, so I did just that. 
I prayed. I told God how they made me feel, told Him I was choosing to forgive them and to help heal my heart. And like always - He listened, He answered.

Without anger or bitterness I then put up my hand and told my friends - I'd been hurt. How they had made me feel and that I was speaking to them so that we could all make a conscious effort to avoid the same thing happening in the future. 

I was proud of myself for saying something. I'm not very good at talking about my feelings; I'm not the most eloquent person which makes me nervous and tongue-tied but I wrote down what I wanted to say on a bit of paper and I spoke out. 

If you feel hurt, say something. Your friend might be feeling hurt too. 
Seek God's timing about when to say something, be gentle and speak without accusation but do say something. It will help to strengthen your relationship.